Crystal Dunn on unlearning and why history gives her hope
meet crystal,
she’s a copywriter and artist, but what strikes me most about her is the way she shares her heart and soul on social media. Crystal grew up in a family affected by mental illness, and she wants you to know that you are never alone in what you are feeling and going through. every day, she shows up for herself while also encouraging healing for all, and it’s my hope that this conversation ultimately reminds you that no matter what anyone says, vulnerability is absolutely a strength.
Staring at the beginning, you studied advertising at Illinois Institute of Art. Where did your love of writing begin? What led you to decide to pursue it as a career, rather than keeping it just for you?
My love of writing, I don’t know. I guess I didn’t know I had a love for it. I just had a love of expressing myself. I needed a form of expression and I did it through writing. I just didn’t know that it was any good, or what I was doing. I had teachers who would say stuff, but they’re teachers and you’re young so I always thought that they tell everybody they’re good. My love for writing didn’t really come about until later, about my freshman year of college, when my teachers started saying, “Oh, you’re a copywriter.” I also ended up getting this free book from the library called Kiss and Sale that was all about copywriting. I think that’s where I really fell in love with it.
How did your childhood influence your love for being creative?
I was alone a lot, so I had to find ways to entertain myself and be creative and express myself. I just kind of did it. Even in the third grade, I ended up making a book, which was completely a rip-off of the Rainbow Fish. I just kind of saw that and made my own out of it, just tracing words and stuff like that, and my teachers and my parents thought that was so amazing. They were like, “Yes, yes, you’re going to be great.” They just saw something in me.
Wow, to go from making your own stories, to now being a copywriter. Do you ever feel pigeonholed by the work you do?
I kind of use my Instagram to get out of it. Some of the work is very limiting at times, or you just have to do what the client wants. Having Instagram or a journal helps, too.
If I can just be creative for myself in some capacity, then it’s okay.
Balancing copywriting with what you do for you, what does a day in your life look like?
Well, right now, with coronavirus, it’s like I’m on the computer all day. Coronavirus kind of messed things up a little bit, but I’m on my computer all day from the time I wake up. I was never a morning person, but I do try to use my evenings to unwind, to write if I can, if I feel like writing, because I don’t push myself to write. It’s hard, and nothing comes out of it. But it’s either that or doing some inner work - reading the Bible or if I’m struggling with something emotionally, then I’ll probably get into it. Or I’ll check out one of the books I have. I think it’s important to do those things and get ready for the next day.
You always advocate for balancing self-care and making sure that you are feeling good, not just physically but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, too. Is that something that you learned on your own, or did you grow up with your family reminding you? Because everyone talks about self-care now, but it wasn’t as strongly advocated for when we were kids.
No. I didn’t grow up talking about that at all. I did not grow up thinking about my emotional health; if anything, it was very suppressed and discouraged in every way. You’re not supposed to cry, you’re not supposed to show how you feel, you’re not supposed to tell people what you think or say. You’re just supposed to do what they tell you to do. You’re not supposed to talk back to people. Now, being an adult, and trying to grow out of that, it’s like I’m having to teach myself and learn from myself. It’s just, I write about it, and I write about it so others, if they’re going on the journey with me, we’re learning together.
And not only do you have to teach yourself, but at the same time, you have to unlearn things that you grew up learning.
Exactly. It’s all about unlearning.
Speaking of that, what you share on Instagram is very vulnerable and raw and honest. It might not be easy or comfortable because social media, at times, can be surface level and materialistic, so to open your heart up on a platform takes a lot of courage and bravery. What has the journey been like for you to share what you share?
When I started, I didn’t really think about all of those things at first. I didn’t think about people seeing me. It wasn’t too much pressure. I was just doing it. Now, it’s a little bit harder, because I have people commenting things like, “Oh, you should post more positive stuff,” or this and that. Some moments I do get discouraged and feel like, “Oh, I shouldn’t share stuff,” or I do feel pressure now to write certain stuff, more positive stuff – whatever it is – when, at first, I didn’t think anybody was watching so it was whatever I felt – whether I felt positive or whether I felt negative, or whether I was working through something. I just struggled.
I struggle with people watching me now, but it’s all a learning and unlearning experience.
What does it mean to write truth?
I think it is being aware and serving. Being open minded. It’s seeing it as it is, and not creating a narrative for it. It’s acknowledgement.
When people criticize your writing, I think they’re kind of missing the point. Because you’re sharing your journey in the hopes to inspire or encourage others to do the same. Like you said, you have to be the one to learn the new habits and form the self-care rituals. And sometimes people might really resonate with the harder stuff because they’re going through a hard time. Do you have any advice you’d want to share with someone going through a tough time right now?
See it for what it is - just a tough time. Which means it will end. You have to push through it. Reflect on the moment and revive whatever you’re doing.
Like I mentioned, social media can be a pretty filtered place. We see so many swipe ups to buy, or it can be materialistic or on other platforms, it can be about arguing, and it seems to divide people. Whether someone is a blogger, a fellow writer, or just another person, what do you think there needs to be more of on social media?
There needs to be more live stuff. There’s a lot of artificial positive stuff, or it’s highlights. It’s a lot of highlights, and people are just comparing.
Or even thinking back to when people posted the black squares as a way of standing in solidarity, but there’s so much more to say, learn, do, and hear, than just that. Speaking of, what is one thing that everyone should know how to do?
Heal. I think healing is one thing everyone should know how to do, instead of making excuses. Finding out how they do things, because you can change it.
And owning it for what it is really powerful. It might be comforting to blame someone else, and it might be valid, but ultimately it doesn’t serve you, right?
That’s true. Exactly.
You are an advocate for mental health awareness, and share local resources with your followers, and you’ve had incredible conversations with them about topics like schizophrenia. What inspired you to open up and share, and what has it been like facilitating those conversations with your followers?
It's hard. I think it’s hard because my followers came for the positive stuff, so they might not understand it. But I think for the ones who come out of nowhere and sometimes they want to talk about it… sometimes I feel like I don’t know if I have the right words yet to help with that. I am happy that they see that they’re not alone. I do think it’s a lot of responsibility if someone wants to talk more in depth about it and I feel like I always have to come up with the courage to just go forward in that uncomfortable conversation.
Right, and mentioning your family and how you grew up, how I can I, or people in general, be better allies? I have a family member who has a mental illness and a lot of times it feels a bit isolating. People mean well, but you can’t always know what it’s like unless you’ve walked that path.
People should talk about it. They should educate themselves, educate others, share stories. That’s what everything is, even with racism and stuff. Education is so important. Educating ourselves and then sharing that knowledge with others. If we did that, we could really move forward as a community, together. I feel like everything that we’re having, every pain point that we’re having in politics as a country, as a community, as the world, it’s because people are not on the same page. They’re not as aware or informed about everything. It’s kind of hard to talk to someone when they don’t know what they’re talking about, or why you should even care.
Speaking of that, we’re at a time right now where it seems like so much of what we’re going through has the potential to bring us together but instead, people are finding ways to create divisions and be different. It’s great to celebrate differences, but like you said, it’s hard to talk to someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about, or doesn’t even want to know the truth. How do you stay positive and continue to feel encouraged to show up and be good to other people who may or may not have your back in a time like this?
You have to black out some of the things that don’t vibe you. Don’t watch the news or things like that. Again, you just have to see it for what it is. Like, there’s hate. There’s hate in people’s hearts. Don’t know where it came from. You can’t change that, but know that you are supposed to be the light in the darkness. Why add more hate to it, or negativity to it? You have to see stuff for what it is, and not accept it, but acknowledge it. See where you can find or give hope. We can’t change things completely, but we can kind of help others see a different way through us.
There is hate, and words can build you up or knock you down, whether that’s through a social media comment or what the media shares. In a time when things seem to be especially divisive, how do you think we can get back to recognizing that shared sense of humanity?
I think with social media and the more that people are sharing now, we are starting to kind of move the needle a little bit. I don’t know if we can always be there completely, because people will always.. there will always be people passing down negative behavior and beliefs. There will always be people who need to unlearn, if they’re willing to. I feel like the new generations growing up, because they do have social media and they can see things more, it looks like they may be way more woke and aware.
So much of life seems to exist in a digital space now, although it isn’t tangible. You post on social media but you aren’t looking those people in the eyes. And it’s still so important to have your own community and people around you, even in the times of coronavirus. What has helped you to find your community in a time when it’s so much easier to stick to what you know, and stay on the computer?
I have friends from school and my past and stuff like that, and even though sometimes we fall off and we don’t talk again, I’ve been figuring out ways to be courageous and reach out to people. If they don’t respond to me, they send me off, or whatever it is, I’m learning not to take it personal. Because I don’t know what it is that’s going on in their life, or I don’t know what it is if we don’t have a connection for some reason. it’s just me having the courage to be rejected, but you know, I just keep trying with people, so eventually some people are going to reach back.
Whether it’s you as a writer or you as a person, what inspires you? What gives you hope?
What gives me hope is history. Acknowledging everything that is happening now is acknowledging that these things have happened before and we have always come out of it, some way, somehow.
I feel like that’s true. If that’s true, then it’s like, not taking everyone else’s predictions of what’s going to happen next, or how it’s going to be. It’s very important because everyone’s opinions aren’t facts. The only fact to me is what we’re doing now, and what you’re moving forward towards next. That’s what gives me hope; we’ve come a long way. Although it’s been hard and we’ve had so many negative moments and experiences and movements, we still have moved forward. It’s just one day at a time.
seven questions with crystal dunn:
I can’t go a day without… tea.
Everyone should read… Mastery of Love and The Four Agreements.
Life is better with a little… love.
Everyone in their 20s should… date multiple people.
One insider thing to do in Chicago… drive around. It’s beautiful, and there are so many different communities and neighborhoods around here. You never know when you’ll find random beautiful art and buildings and stuff. I love how the city looks. The drive itself is good. It’s a beautiful place to be.
What the world needs right now is… openness.
One way to spread love is… by telling your story.
You can follow Crystal on Instagram here.
Be sure to check out her website for more of her work, including her art.
Photo courtesy of Crystal Dunn.