DREAMer Itzel Soto on the struggles undocumented students face, fieldwork, and why education is a privilege

meet Itzel.

in today’s conversation, we talk about one part of her identity and her life, but the truth is, Itzel is so much more than any label. the ways in which she weaves each chapter and each experience of her life into her heart and her character shows that not only is anything hers for the taking, but that she will leave a legacy of kindness, compassion, and inspiration wherever she goes.

Itzel is driven, never discouraged by adversity, and one of the most hard-working people i’ve ever met. she moves through life with grace and integrity, letting her passions and demand to see real change lead her in all she does.

i can’t help but wonder what this world would be like if there were more people like Itzel in it, but i know that she’s leaving her mark each and every day by motivating and encouraging everyone she meets to achieve their dreams while helping others every step of the way.

Hi Itzel, can you tell me a little bit about you?

Hi Paige. Of course, my name is Maria Itzel Soto, a first-generation undocumented college student. I identify myself as a Mexicana, and am very proud of my culture, background and roots. I was born in Colima, Colima Mexico and only spent four years of my life in my home county. I come from a very humble, hardworking family of six. I have two younger brothers and one older sister that I have grown up with to become hardworking and responsible. My parents have worked as farmworkers since my family has moved to the United States. Life in this country has not always been a dream. Living in the United States has given me tears of frustration and confusion on my identity and sense of belonging. It has worked my parents to their limits and has caused them to give up their lives in Mexico to work in the fields of Washington state, but it has also given my family and I an opportunity. Opportunity is not a privilege that my family and I would have had in Mexico.

Living in the United States has been especially difficult for me because I am undocumented. Not an illegal, an alien, or any other demeaning word, but undocumented. Letting un-documentation be part of my identity has been a long process and something that has taken years to finally own as being a part of me. I was brought to this country at the age of four and without understanding it at the time, the journey of crossing the border was traumatic for me. I knew that something was changing in my life when our journey embarked. I sensed the fear in my mother and saw the worry in her eyes. She was on her own with my two siblings and I, without knowing the fate of our future. Not a lot of people retain memories of their childhood, but I have vivid memories of the journey here and I was only four. We took only the things that we could carry in our arms and I decided to take the only doll I owned, of which gave me comfort.

Through the journey my doll was left in one of the suitcases and because it was too dangerous to retrieve, I wasn't able to get it back. I didn’t understand why we couldn’t just go back, and I remember crying to my mother for my doll. My mother couldn’t do anything but try to console me. Four-year-old me felt the dangers of the trip and registered everything in my memories. After crossing, life didn’t get easier. I recall hiding behind my grandmother’s couch at the age of five because I thought that ICE was going to be able to see me through the windows and know instantly that I was undocumented. I was petrified of ICE and to this day, when I hear the word my body clenches and I feel a sense of emergency. The constant fear and anxiety that formed in my life affected me throughout my developmental years. I didn’t have friends for a few years because I was always afraid of someone finding out that I was undocumented. I avoided the question that young children make when they wanted to find out where everyone was born because I knew that they were going to question me if they found out I was born in Mexico. I didn’t belong in either world. I was considered an “illegal” in the United States and at the same time, no longer part of the Mexican society because I had left my country.

Being undocumented is mentally and physically exhausting; I’m constantly forced to go through many difficult obstacles to get to the same place as others, but it was also empowering. It has taught me to be proud of who I am and resilient in times of despair. 

Although my status greatly affects my daily life, I didn’t let that stop me from pursuing my passions and becoming involved. For many years, I didn’t let anyone know about my status. I never shared my story because of the fear of deportation and although that is still in fear that I have, I have become vocal about my status because it has allowed me to empower myself and others. 

Over the years, I have worked alongside my mother in agriculture and I have been able to observe and feel first-hand the working conditions that many farmworkers have had to endure over time. I plan to learn how to analyze, evaluate, advocate, and change policy. I have a passion for advocating the needs of farmworkers in the Yakima Valley who have been suffering for years in poor working conditions. My goal is to help create policies in place that will change the environment of farm working in a way that will allow workers to feel like human beings and not another labor worker. I yearn to learn how to influence policy decisions and build legislative advocacy skills. 

Wow, that’s incredible. Let’s talk about language and the way in which it impacts people, because it’s clear that it’s impacted you, and it’s inexcusable. Terms are thrown around like “undocumented” and “alien” - there’s weight to those words. This isn’t a political platform; it’s humanity. America calls itself the land of the free, but you never felt free - you felt trapped. 

Even at an young age, I knew that the terms that they used for undocumented folks were meant to strip our identity away, to dehumanize us and to create inferiority in our lives. They are purposeful and it needs to be called out as it is. The United States has a long and oppressive history of dehumanizing the people that they deem are inferior to their white culture. Our people have experienced discrimination in the past and it is no different in today’s society. This country only takes from the most oppressed without acknowledging them as human beings. Take farmworkers, for example. Many of them are undocumented and experience extreme disadvantages. They have always experienced disparities and not until this year, have their needs been brought into conversation in the media. The pandemic only worsened the problems that they faced. No human being should have to be considered “essential” to be treated as a human being. Farmworkers continue to suffer from low pay, terrible working conditions, little to no healthcare, and poor housing conditions. My people perform backbreaking labor to be given scraps. From working in the agriculture fields of Washington every summer since the age of fourteen, I’ve learned that most privileged people of this country would not last a single day working under the heat of the sun. I’m tired of seeing elderly men and women working in the fields because they can’t afford retirement, they deserve more for giving up their whole lives to work the lands of this country.

Why is there a stigma when it comes to being undocumented? There’s the phrase “American dream,” yet it doesn’t land the way it used to, or should. 

I resonate with the quote, “They call us DREAMers but we’re the ones that don’t sleep.” Everything is more difficult when you’re undocumented. It is living in constant anxiety while listening to politicians give false promises. I try to keep hope that one day, I will not be able to live with this anxiety but I do not want to get my hopes up and be let down again. It’s exhausting and a constant problem that we have to deal with. When undocumented folks reach success, it is because they had to work twice as hard as others to get to the same place. For example, undocumented students don’t qualify for federal dollars and cannot apply for federal financial aid or scholarships. We have to find other ways to fund our education because we are constantly left out of all aid. If we receive anything in this life, it is because we had to fight for it. Although undocumented folks pay taxes, we do not receive any federal aid or resources. It is a complete unfair and unjust system that was made to aid only those that are privileged in this life. Even when undocumented folks are constantly experiencing disadvantages, we have an incredible will to always move forward and always find a way to help one another. 

You’ve worked with your parents in the fields since you were 14. That’s an experience I can't even begin to think about. It’s backbreaking, heartbreaking, dangerous work, and it’s exactly that - incredibly hard work. The work you did, and that your parents do, feeds people, but everyone seems to ‘bite the hand that feeds them.’

I still remember the first day that I worked alongside my mother during the cherry harvest. I couldn’t believe how difficult the work was. My day started at 3:30am to start working at 5:00am. I remember how difficult it was to get up every morning, including Sundays because we worked those days, too. During this time, I didn’t know that I had scoliosis and would get the worst back pain from carrying loads of cherries on my back everyday. My mother worked so quickly and helped us throughout the whole day. She is still my hero. She knew that she had to work to make the day’s earnings. They paid us by piece and we were always racing against time. The hotter it got, the less you were able to work. Even if you were exhausted in the mornings, you had to be as quick as you could be, otherwise you wouldn't be able to make that day’s earnings and that could mean that your children would not have food on their table. The most difficult is getting through the heat of the day, the rays of sun make you weak, extremely hot, takes your energy away and makes you thirst for water at all times. It burns through your clothes and leaves you to daydream of a pool of water. We had to cover each inch of our body because the sun is too harsh on the skin and could cause harm if we didn’t. Not only did we have to protect ourselves from the sun, but we also had to protect ourselves from pesticides and animals including snakes and spiders. Picking cherries wasn’t the most difficult job that I did. I also worked in the hops, where it was far worse because there are no trees, just the hop vines that never granted us any shade. Hops are prickly and if you do not protect your skin, you can get serious rashes and cuts. Everyday, I had to mentally prepare myself for the difficulty of the day. The summer of 2019, I lost 15 pounds because of the job I was doing. Everyday, I had to pull out giant weeds with thorns that would take all the strength in my body to take them out. The rows of these weeds were endless; I worked 10-11 hour days with my back bent over all day, and with little breaks. I wanted to give up so many times but I knew that I couldn’t. If I got through the days, it was because I had people around me that cared to help me and wouldn’t leave me behind.

The people that work in the fields are selfless, hardworking, humble and extremely giving. Many know what real poverty is and they don’t take anything for granted. They deserve so much more than this country has given them. 

Are there any stories or memories that stand out in your mind from the summers you spent working in the fields?

There were kind and generous people that I worked with that would always look out for me. Especially when they would see me struggle. They were extremely skilled workers and I always admired them because I would only work the summers and go back to school every fall but they had to work in the fields for a living - that was their life. The amount of strength that they all have to have to continue to do the work that they do is incredible. I had my hardest summer of work in 2019 when I lost 15 pounds because of the difficulty of the work.  Every day I struggled to keep up with everyone but there was one worker that always made sure to not leave me behind. She always looked after me even though she didn’t have to do so. Her kindness motivates me to continue my work as I continue my education.

What do people need to know about fieldworkers, or fieldwork in general?

Field work is arduous, backbreaking, unforgiving, cruel, and ruthless. It is not like your typical jobs. You are constantly under the supervision of group leaders and you are exposed to harmful chemicals without the proper protective equipment, while dealing with the heat of the sun or the freezing cold winter. Not only does the worker have to work through tough environments but they also have the skill to keep with everyone else. Not everyone has the skill that is needed to work in agriculture, nor the mental strength. At times, it becomes harder to wake up every morning knowing that the day will not be easier than the day before. The laborers that work tirelessly year round are parents to children that are receiving an opportunity that they would not have had the privilege to have in their home country. They are making a sacrifice for their children, they are surviving so that their children can live a better life.

I also want to note that your parents are not just what they do in regards to work. They showed their love for you - and how strong and brave they are - in the decision they made for you and your family as a whole.

Farmworkers are also humans; they feel all of the hardships of working in the fields. They stay because of their families. They know that they are giving their children the ability to break the cycle of poverty. My parents do not complain of the difficulty of their everyday labor but I see how the labor is deteriorating them. I see the exhaustion in their eyes, their hands calloused from working long hours doing heavy work, and their health affected by pesticides and environmental dangers. Their humanity is not seen by many but the children of farmworkers see it everyday and it encourages us to continue our education, not only for ourselves but for our family. It means so much to me to be able to be the first in my family to receive a bachelor's degree. Students like myself are breaking generational poverty cycles so when I reach an achievement, it has and always will be in honor of my family. 

You worked to fund your education, and to say you’ve achieved incredible things in your academic career would be an understatement. Did you face any stigmas or negativity from your peers or teachers?

I have been fortunate enough to have received the support from incredible mentors and they have been my support system throughout my educational journey. I didn’t have someone to ask questions about college, standardized exams, financial aid, scholarships etc., but my mentors have always been kind in offering me their help and have answered the many questions that I have had throughout the years. Although I have received aid from school mentors, I have experienced negativity and hate from strangers. When I began to be open about my documentation status, I began to receive hateful messages from people on the internet. To say that it doesn’t affect me would be a lie but I can say that the support I receive from friends, family and strangers on social media has made it easier to cope with the hate from the people that cannot open their hearts to people like myself. I have to remind myself that I do not have to convince people of accepting people like myself and I do not owe an explanation to anyone but I decided to be open about my status because I know that there are others experiencing the same difficulties of being undocumented and if I can be an aid to anyone experiencing those difficulties, then that is all I can hope for. 

As a DREAMer, how important is it to find your community or people you can rely on?

Having a support system is super important. When I began my undergrad, I didn’t have a support system and I was having a hard time adjusting to college life and was starting to feel unmotivated. When I decided to join a sorority and run for student government, I found a community and the people that still support now. They have become my best friends and the people that I can go to when I am having a tough time. They made a difference in life and encouraged me to keep going and reach my goals. 

You’re part of a sorority that’s politically active. How imperative is it that established groups as such take a stance?

I believe that it is critical for organizations to use their platform and their voices to speak out about social injustices. This was something that was very important to me when I was looking into sororities.

I’ve learned when we stay silent about injustices, we are aiding the oppressor.

In a time where the social and political climate is ripe for societal change, it is imperative for organizations to become part of the movement of change. Discrimination has costed the lives of innocent people; not fighting against this systemic oppression will continue to divide this country and negatively affect BIPOC communities. 

How do you stay strong when people criticize you, or when you’re faced with challenges that seem too big or unpredictable?

I try to think about the positive and all of the support that I have received. I know that I do not owe an explanation to anyone and if someone is using hateful language against me, then it is because they have personal issues that affect them so much that they take time out of their day to type something hateful. This was something that I expected when I decided to be open about my status and this decision has been worth it despite the hate that I have received. Recieving messages from other undocumented folks asking for recommendations or writing to me about their encouragement that they received after reading about my story, will always overcome the hateful messages. 

You’re getting your Masters in social work. Helping people seems to be especially innate to you. Did you always have a clear path of what you wanted to study, and what you want to do?

I didn’t always know that I wanted to study social work but when I started to experience the injustices of agriculture labor, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and it saddened me to learn that farmworkers have always experienced injustices in the agriculture industry. I then decided to speak to my supervisors and they encouraged me to declare my major in social work and history. After undergrad, I decided to apply for the University of Washington’s MSW program because they have the concentration of policy and administration. This caught my attention because I want to actively work towards changing and creating policies that will change the current occupational safety policies for farmworkers in the Yakima Valley (WA). 

What does a day in your life look like?

At the moment, I am a full time graduate student and I am also completing my program practicum at Front and Centered (nonprofit organization), while also working part time as an online tutor. My days are usually very full of meetings, class, and tutoring sessions. Because of COVID-19, I am completing all of my work online and although it has been a challenge, I have been able to pick up a lot of new skills, meet new mentors and classmates, and learn tremendously. 

How important is education?

Having the privilege of receiving an education is changing my life and that of my family. Education is my opportunity to live a better a life than my ancestors and to break the cycle of poverty in my family. It is allowing me to aid my community and specifically the Latinx community in the Yakima Valley (WA). I know that it is an incredible privilege to have the opportunity to receive an education and I want to make sure I use it for good and to aid the people in communities that were not given the opportunity to receive an education themselves. 

When it comes to education both inside and outside of the classroom, how do we integrate more cultures and life lessons?

I believe that the first step is being open to learning about different cultures and people. We do not all have the same beliefs, way of living, values, or traditions. We have to let go of the assumptions that we have of others, especially if they are negative stereotypes. There is an incredible amount of ignorance that inhabits the minds of many in this country and it is partly because this country was not created to benefit everyone. This country has a long history of discimination, imperialism, and systemic racism. The discrimination that many BIPOC folks experience is engrained in this country and we have to remove it, decolonize oppressive systems, and actively question our actions and thoughts. 

That being said, what is something everyone should know how to do?

Everyone should know how to listen to one another. Not hear to respond but truly listen to others and not jump to conclusions or create assumptions about others. 

The media plays a role in how it’s portrayed, but firsthand, what does it mean to be a DREAMer? What do you want people to know about not just the process, but the experience, too? 

To be a DREAMer is to have the courage to be unapologetically yourself. DREAMers are human beings with hopes and dreams. They are strong, committed, incredibly hardworking and brave. We do not only fight for ourselves but we fight for our communities. We are tired of living in the shadows and will not allow others to dictate our lives anymore.

To be a DREAMer is to dare to take the reigns of your own life and write your own story despite not being accepted. 

You were so young when you came to America. Looking back, how do you define your journey? What does it mean to you?

My journey here has been transformative. Even at a young age, I knew that I had an incredible responsibility to make the journey worthwhile. I knew that coming to the United States was a privilege and that many people in my home country do not have the opportunity to better their lives. I also knew that many people lost their lives on their journey to a better life. That stays with me and I hope to always remember the sacrifice that it has taken to have the opportunity to receive an education and a better life. 

Thinking back to the beginning of your journey, what would you go back and tell four year old you?

Oh man. I would tell her to not be afraid, to just be a kid. I would tell her that everything will be ok, that being different is not a bad thing and that we do not have to live in fear with a big secret. I would tell her that you belong and even if people do not understand or do not accept you, the only important thing is that you accept yourself. 

You’ve graduated with honors and accomplished so much, but what’s a dream you still have?

Thank you. I still dream of going back to visit my home country. I haven’t seen my grandparents in more than 16 years and I’m afraid that when I get the chance to visit, it’ll be too late to see them again. I still dream of receiving my PhD in social work but above else, I hope and dream to visit Michoacan, Mexico. 

Circling back, yes, you are a Dreamer, but you are so much more. You’re a daughter, a student, a graduate, a friend, a sister, the list goes on. How do you define yourself?

I define myself as Mexicana, proud of heritage and roots. I am passionate about aiding the Latinx community. I am also goofy, reserved at times, adventurous and caring. I like to think that I am humble and generous and strong minded. I don’t give up on my hopes, dreams or goals even if it takes me longer to achieve. Finally, I am resilient. 

seven questions with itzel soto:

I can’t go a day without… coffee or anything sweet- It is an addiction at this point. 

Everyone should see... The Help on Netflix! 

Life is better with a little… sunshine! The sunshine immediately brightens up my mood! 

Everyone in their 20s should… take a solo trip! Anywhere that makes you happy and at peace. 

One insider thing to do in Seattle… hiking! There are many trails surrounding Seattle and the Mt. Rainier National Park has loads of various hiking trails as well!  

What the world needs right now is… peace and an open heart. 

One way to spread love is… smile and be generous! 

Follow Itzel on Instagram here.

All photos courtesy of Itzel Soto.