the reality of life in the navy and pursuing your dreams with Sheryl Anne
meet Sheryl Anne.
in honor of Veterans Day, i wanted to speak with a service member to share what life is really like in - and out - of uniform. Sheryl Anne is a member of the Navy while also pursing big goals and traveling every chance she gets. her life is as vibrant and bold as her personality, and as strong and brave as the character she exudes when she defends our country every day. while a life of service is in her blood and runs deep within her family, i hope Sheryl Anne reminds you that you can be a leader and change-maker within your community, too.
this conversation was truly an honor, and i am so grateful i get to share it with you today.
What led you to join the service, and why the Navy in particular?
I’ve wanted to be in the military since I was a little girl. I remember doing a project in elementary school where the objective was to present your dream job, and I chose “Military Surgeon.” A major influence, or inspiration, for me to join the military was my parents; my dad was in the Navy for 26 years and my mom was in the Air Force. Out of all the branches, I chose the Navy for two reasons. One, I had more exposure to the Navy growing up. When I was little, my dad would take me to his ship and I absolutely loved it and thought it was the coolest thing ever. Two, the Navy had more of the opportunities I was looking to do at the time. Even in high school I knew I wanted to be in the military, but I also wanted to go to college first. My parents said if I wanted to go to a college outside of California I needed to get my own scholarship, or I would need to use their GI Bill and go to school in California. I was born and raised in California so I wanted a new experience, a new place, and the chance to meet new people; I knew I had to find a way to get a scholarship. Luckily, my older sister, Lei, showed me a path where I could do all three things I wanted to do: join the military, go to college outside of California to start a new life, and have my college paid for— this path was the Naval ROTC Scholarship. I applied and was awarded a full-ride scholarship that I used at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, where I would graduate from and commission as a Naval Officer four years later.
I remember this being a part of your plan when we were younger. Have you ever had doubts or questioned the path you’ve chosen?
Definitely not. I love the path I have chosen for myself! I have been in for over six years at this point and when I look back my time in the Navy, I am so grateful for the opportunities that have shaped me into the person I am today.
I’ve had experiences that I would have never dreamed for myself including becoming a Search and Rescue Swimmer, driving a multi-million dollar Littoral Combat Ship, living by the beach in Hawaii, and sailing across the world to Guam, Bahrain, Oman, Thailand and Singapore. I’ve also made the best of friends. I have a group of 12 best friends from my first ship, we call ourselves the Ride or Die squad because we almost died at our first port call in Guam when we jumped off a cliff together. We still communicate with each other almost every day. Most importantly, I’ve had the opportunity to lead the most incredible Sailors who have taught me resiliency, teamwork, and what it means to care for your people.
I should note that I had the biggest reality check when I was on my first ship in the Navy as to who I was as a person— I was immature, naïve, and I didn’t know what it actually meant to be a leader. I was thrown into this new environment that presented many new challenges for me. The challenges included dealing with toxicity, finding solutions to seemingly impossible tasks, learning the various aspects of my job that could have a serious impact on the ship, making decisions that could impact tens to hundreds of people, and learning how to support my Sailors in the most difficult situations. By overcoming these challenges, I’ve learned to embrace finding solutions to problems, learned to grow from my mistakes, and built strong, supportive connections with others. I am most thankful for these challenges on the path I’ve chosen because even though they’ve made up my toughest and lowest points in the Navy, I’ve grown into a better person and leader by overcoming them.
What is it like being a female in the military?
Overall, my experience being a woman in the military has been great. I have been very fortunate that most of the people I’ve served with have been supportive, fair, and equal. There have only been a handful of people that have discriminated against me because I am a woman, or have made distasteful and ignorant sexist jokes or comments. Based off of my experience, I believe that most people in the military are eager to have an inclusive and equal environment and are doing what they can to foster it, including training one another to be more aware of, prevent, and quickly put a stop to any negative behavior.
What is a misconception about the service or Navy that you wish people knew more about?
I think some people have this idea that being in the military is based off what they see in the movies. The military is not as glamorous as Hollywood makes it out to be. Yes, we do really cool and dangerous tasks and missions sometimes, but mostly it’s a lot of meetings, maintaining or fixing equipment, making preparations, paperwork, and being away from family. I appreciate Hollywood making us seem like a bunch of super good-looking and fit people, that play football on the beach at sunset, that get tasked with an important mission to save the world from nuclear mayhem (Top Gun 2), but that’s just not the case. However, if a bunch of aliens did want to play Battleship out at sea, best believe the Navy would win.
Your family and spouse are also in the military - it’s very much a lifestyle and way of life for all of you. How do you all balance deployments and different schedules, or stay strong when things start to wear on you?
For my entire family, balancing deployments and our different schedules stems from a strong foundation that we’ve created and built upon from a very young age. Growing up, my dad was gone on deployment all the time, especially after 9/11. This did two important things for my sisters and I— first, it developed an understanding that deployment and being gone for long periods of time was normal for the military; second, we learned how to be strong and independent women watching my mother run an entire household on her own while working full-time in surgery. We’ve been immersed in the military lifestyle for so long that it is second nature to us, it has molded us to be understanding, flexible, supportive, and independent. It has also taught us that when we are all home together, that we have to be fully present and make the most out of the time we have together. That being said, I’d be lying if I said my foundation was strong all the time. When John and I are apart for long periods of time, we miss each other like crazy and I definitely go through random bouts of sadness, even with the understanding that it is part of the job. We keep in touch over deployments as much as we can— through hand-written letters, care packages, emails on the ship, text, phone calls, and FaceTime in-port. Ways that I’ve mitigated my sadness during John’s deployments are keeping myself super busy hanging out with my friends and family, doing hobbies I love, or going on fun adventures with my dogs. When staying busy isn’t enough, I reach out to my family to talk about it since they can relate. On the flip side, when I’ve been away, the ship keeps me busy enough that I don’t have time to think about it. But in the quiet moments where I’m overcome by how much I actually miss home, I’ll send an email to John, read a book, watch a show, or talk to my friends on the ship.
One thing I think about is how it’s so much bigger than you in the military; you’re a part of a team and rely on others. It also seems like it can feel isolating at times, especially during deployments. How do you reconcile the two, or find a balance?
I love the team aspect of the military, it is impossible to accomplish a mission or task without everyone contributing and working together. Yes, during deployment and periods out at sea there have been moments where I’ve experienced isolation, but a way I overcame that was by building support systems amongst my Sailors and friends onboard. Here’s the thing, you end up spending more time with the people on the ship than you do with your own family, you might as well make the most out of it and create a healthy space for a team to thrive. That is what I always strived to do, foster an environment where everyone feels welcome and open to be themselves. When you work in an environment like that, you want to support the team, you don’t want to let your teammates down, and you want to work harder towards achieving a common goal. It can be very easy to isolate yourself on the ship during difficult times and not realize it— it is a dangerous position to be in. It is important to recognize that isolation in yourself or in others, and to correct it. At the end of the day, on the ship we are all going through hell together; lean on each other, lift each other up, and before you know it you’ll reach the end of the tunnel together being stronger than ever. The experiences and overcoming of struggles with people creates these unbreakable bonds on the ship, it really is a beautiful thing.
Outside of work, you travel a lot and have such a zest for life and adventure. How do you make time to travel? You also use photography as a creative outlet.
The Navy has kept me very busy and it definitely has not been easy, especially when you are trying to accomplish a lot of personal goals while on the ship’s schedule, which is unpredictable most times. Whenever I saw a solid window of time that I knew was not going to be interrupted with going out-to-sea, I took a leap of faith and jumped on the opportunity early. Right now I am on shore duty and have significantly more time to travel and pursue my dreams and hobbies. Since being on shore duty, I’ve become a certified EMT, I finally started my business to be a Destination Elopement & Wedding Photographer, and I travelled to South Africa & Jamaica.
I make time to travel, go on adventures, and pursue my dreams because it is important to me to live life to the fullest. My desire to live my best life is attributed to two sources of motivation and inspiration. First and foremost, I am first-generation Filipino American. Both of my parents are from the Philippines, they literally left their homes, came to a country where they didn’t speak the language well, had no jobs and started with nothing. Growing up I’ve watched my parents work hard to build the successful life they have now and ensure my sisters and I had the opportunities they didn’t have. My grandparents also worked very hard to get to America and helped raise my sisters and I; we were very fortunate to have them around as constant sources of inspiration. My grandparents and parents struggled and suffered to ensure my sisters and I had a good and comfortable life, and I want to make sure that it wasn’t for nothing. Second, I am constantly reminding myself that we only get to live one life and that one life is short. When I look back at my life, I want to know that I did everything I could to reach my dreams, even if I failed, I want to know that I tried. I want to look back at my life and see all these different chapters of my life filled with adventure, travel, love, and other dreams, rather than one long, dull chapter.
I love using photography as a creative outlet— I love capturing these special moments for people and creating it into something beautiful that I know they’ll be able to cherish forever. I’ve been doing it for a couple years now, but I’ve just recently decided to go professional and start my business. It has been a whirlwind balancing a full-time job in the military and starting my own business, but it has also been so fun and rewarding. I’m looking forward to seeing how much it grows!
One topic of conversation that’s increased over the years is self-care and finding balance within oneself. The military can be very regimented and structured, and you’re not always with the comforts of home. How do you make time to stay aligned or take care of yourself?
I’m glad you brought this up because in a fast-paced, tough work environment like the Navy I believe people should incorporate balance and self-care in their everyday lives. As much as I preach that, I understand that it’s definitely easier said than done. For me, I used to feel like everything was important and everything needed to get done in one day, but that way of thinking is just not realistic nor is it a sustainable, healthy way of living. I’ve found that by prioritizing important work tasks and adding one personal, self-care task for that day has helped me stay sane. Exercising is my form of self-care, it is my time to release stress and feel energized, accomplished, and confident the rest of the day. If you don’t make time to take care of yourself, it will eventually wear on you, it will show in your work, and it will eventually affect the people around you and that’s not fair to them. It is a useful skill to learn how to prioritize your time for the things that are most important and what you care most about— trust me, if you care enough about something you will find the time to do it.
What does a day in your life look like?
I wake up early to get ready, about 3:45am. I do this for two reasons, one to avoid traffic on my commute to San Diego, and two, to exercise before work. Before I leave the house, I take care of my dogs and give them treats and kisses before I leave (I give my husband a kiss too of course lol). On my drive to San Diego, I usually listen to music (mainly Taylor Swift), audiobooks (lately Colleen Hoover), or podcasts (lately Cassidy Lynne Photography). When I get to San Diego, I work out at the gym either lifting, cardio, or both. After I shower, I get into the office and work. Since I’m currently on shore duty, what working looks like for me right now is managing an office of 17 Sailors and Government Civilians, doing administrative work, and attending meetings. After work, I begin my one hour commute home. Or, if I have a photo session that day, I’ll hang out in the area until I meet up with my couples before sunset. When I get home, I try to work on my photography business, take my dogs to the park and hang out with my husband, then hopefully be in bed and asleep by 8:30pm.
What is one thing everyone should know how to do?
Take ownership. This was one of the most important lessons I learned on my first ship. The lesson involved a serious situation that occurred onboard. Although the situation had occurred over the accumulation of multiple errors from various people, ultimately I was called into a meeting where they stated that I was to blame for all of it. As a new Ensign, I remember trying to defend myself saying “It’s not my fault. How could I have controlled the actions of someone who was on the other end of the ship?” After the meeting, I was called into the office of my Executive Officer and he handed me a notecard on which he’d written the following quote: “The good and righteous are above self-exoneration campaigns. They seek right, admit wrong, and avoid self-campaigns.” He proceeded to tell me a story about how he was put in a difficult situation that was out of his control, but rather than use his words to relieve himself of the hardship, he took ownership, made an impactful change and proved he was a good leader through his actions. Although you may be wrongfully accused or blamed for a problem, a leader will take responsibility and provide a solution. This has stuck with me in various situations throughout my life, not just at work. I still have this notecard and think about the quote often in difficult situations.
Lastly, what does service mean to you?
Service means being part of something bigger than yourself that gives back to the people. You don’t have to be in the military to show service to your country. Being part of an organization that is making an effort to better our community or environment counts!
SEVEN QUESTIONS WITH SHERYL ANNE
I can’t go a day without… saying “I love you” to my husband and fur-children, Kaia & Nova.
Everyone should watch… Woman King (An empowering movie for all women) and The Dark Knight (I mention this because it was my grandma’s favorite movie and Heath Ledger’s acting was superb.), read King’s Dark Tidings series by Kel Kade and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson, and listen to The Science Weekly podcasts by The Guardian, Hamilton (Original Broadway Cast Recording), and scores composed by Hans Zimmer.
Life is better with a little… Spontaneity. Sometimes it’s best to just say “Well this wasn’t planned, but let’s do it anyways!” My favorite spontaneous moment was getting a matching puffin tattoo with my husband in Iceland.
Everyone in their 20s should… Live boldly and step out of their comfort zones. Go travel, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, find ways to grow, and learn about who you are! In addition to all of that, they should also learn how to invest and be financially stable.
One thing to do in San Diego… Grab In-N-Out Burgers with Animal Fries and a milkshake then head to the beach to watch the sunset.
What the world needs right now is… More love and less screen time.
One way to make a difference is… Being kind to one another. Small acts of kindness are contagious.
Photo courtesy of Sheryl Anne Photography - learn more and book a session with her here.
“When I look back at my life, I want to know that I did everything I could to reach my dreams, even if I failed, I want to know that I tried. I want to look back at my life and see all these different chapters of my life filled with adventure, travel, love, and other dreams, rather than one long, dull chapter.”