skydiver Victoria Martin on why it's okay to hold onto fear and embracing your weirdness
You had your first dive on May 29th, 2019 - a little less than two years ago. I think most people have skydiving on their bucket list, but it’s another thing to actually go out and do it. What inspired you to take that step, commit, and go for it?
I feel like a lot of people do have it on their bucket list and they do the skydive itself, but not a lot of people actually move forward to learn how to do it. I had my first tandem and absolutely loved it and called them like a week later because I knew I had to learn and experience it again. So, I don't really know what inspired me, I just loved it so much that I felt like I absolutely needed to do this; that there was no way I was going to not do it.
Were you nervous for your first tandem?
I was nervous, but I think I was more excited than nervous. I actually didn’t start getting nervous until I actually had to do it myself unattached to anyone. But overall I was really excited. It was something I’ve always had the goal of doing even since I was little, and then to finally do it, I felt more than ready.
One observation I’ve made is that when it comes to skydiving, you can’t do it alone in the sense that someone has to fly the plane, and there’s a lot of team comradery. But depending on once you jump, you’re by yourself. And you’re licensed, so you do jump by yourself. What is the juxtaposition like for you?
There’s a really big step by step process on everything to become a licensed skydiver. I can honestly say that if I didn’t have the group of people that I have at my dropzone (Skydive Phoenix), I wouldn’t be as into skydiving as I am. And my instructor that I did my first tandem with really played a part in the whole experience. I could have been with somebody that I didn't feel comfortable with, or just didn't get a good vibe from, and I still would have gone through with it, but having him and the others that day really helped make my first impression and experience with skydiving.
What made it so special?
One, everyone there was so nice, but when you’re going and doing a tandem, in your head, you’re like, “I am trusting a person.” You have to completely trust them to save your life, and he made it fun and not stressful. And then it’s nice because my tandem instructor, along with others, turned out to be the ones involved in teaching me to skydive. So now being where I am in the sport, it has really come full circle in a lot of ways. A lot of people taught me, and I am grateful to be able to include all of them in milestones like when I hit my one-year skydiving anniversary, or my 100th skydive and things like that. My sky fam is really what makes it so incredibly special for me.
You bring up a good point that so much of it is in your head, especially once it’s just you by yourself in the air. What was that part of the process of becoming licensed like?
When you learn to skydive, you go through a program where you’re not connected to anybody but you typically have two instructors that jump out and hold onto you while you get that first taste of flight. Then for the rest of the levels, you only have one person. So, that’s about seven or eight jumps. But when you complete the levels, you’re technically a solo student. And that’s no instructor, nobody’s jumping with you. You just manage and practice by yourself. And it’s definitely pretty stressful, but at the same time, the thing that I like the most about it is it’s so rewarding because you’re like, “I did that. I got geared up, jumped out of a plane, flew in the air, landed my parachute.” It’s just really rewarding to know that you did it and accomplished something like that. But when you are by yourself, time goes by really slow. I remember my first solo jump, I was in freefall, and I kept checking my altitude and I’m like, “I don’t know what to do. There’s so much time.'' It's really crazy. It makes you super hyper aware of everything.
Along with altitude, you also have to factor in the weather, temperature, the wind, things like that, too, right? There’s a discipline to it. Have you ever been in a situation where things could go either way and made the decision to pull back?
Yes, the wind and weather play a big factor. Obviously if it’s raining, we can’t really do much with that. But wind is really a big factor and that’s all the time, so there’s certain restrictions. People who aren’t licensed that are considered students have a cut off time for [when] the winds are going however many miles per hour. But when you’re licensed, technically, you don’t have any restrictions with wind. But for me, I’d still ask the more experienced jumpers or my instructors and be like, “Hey, would a student jump in this?” And they’ll be like, “No, I wouldn’t recommend a student jumping in this.” And then I’d be like, “Okay, I’m not jumping.” Because I was still pretty new. So it’s definitely a lot to consider. We check the wind right before we get on the plane and while under canopy (parachute). We have to see what direction it’s coming from, how many knots it is and from what altitude. And mentally be like, “Oh, when I reach 3000 feet, the wind is most likely going to be coming from the North at this many knots” and then learn to adjust accordingly. It is a really big awareness of everything, lots of things to consider for sure. But always trust your gut and if you're not comfortable then make that decision to either continue or not.
Earlier you mentioned how time can feel different when you’re in the air. In a similar sense, you’ve also seen parts of our world from a bird’s eye view that not everyone sees. How has that influenced your perspective or how you go about life in general?
I think one of the weird things for me is I’ve been on commercial planes before, plenty of times. But when I take the planes that are right above where I jump, just the perspective in the plane by itself, you can see so much more than I figured I’d be able to see. Like, I was able to see a mountain that is normally a 2-3 hour drive away from where I skydive, which is super far. So that’s crazy in and of itself, because I’m seeing all these different landmarks and then when I actually get out of the plane, I see everything kind of from that bird’s eye view. I’ll glance down down and watch as everything gets bigger and closer the lower I free fall. Just to kind of have that timeframe from when you’re up there and then suddenly back down, it’s a really crazy experience. Also, the weather is really different up there, too. Right now, it’s like 47 degrees out, but when we go way up there in altitude, it’s literally freezing. Especially in the summer too, where it’s super-hot on the ground versus cool up there, it's just a strange experience for multiple senses.
Do you have a most memorable dive?
Other than my initial tandem, I did a night skydive on Halloween, that iwas definitely a favorite, memorable jump. Because ever since I started skydiving, one of my aspirations was, “I have to do a night jump. That’s all I want. I want to do a night jump so bad.” And I actually did it and it was crazy. It was literally amazing to jump out at night time and I could see all of the city lights. Where I jump is kind of far in the desert, but you could see all of Phoenix lights, everything. I was surprised by how much I could actually see when I was skydiving at night. That was definitely my most memorable one because I remember being really nervous about it, but then it was everything I hoped it would be. I am looking forward to balloon and helicopter skydives as well.
Did the night make it scarier? I’m someone who loves the night but everything is a little bit scarier, too.
I feel happier and more comfortable at night too but it definitely is a little bit scarier because you’re like, “What the heck is this gonna be like? I’m jumping out at night. I can’t see the landscape the same that I normally can,” all that stuff. But I actually could, in reality. I could see everything normal, which is weird. We had preparations, where we would sit in the dark for twenty minutes before – no lights anywhere – so we’d get our night vision.
The whole thing about skydiving is just all mental.
You’re like, “I expect it to be this way,” or, “I think it’s gonna be like this,” and then you do it and it’s entirely different. And I think that’s one of the best parts of it. So whenever I think about something related to skydiving, I’m like, “You know, it’s probably going to be like this,” but it’s completely different than what I thought and that’s why I keep loving it.
You bring up a good point. Something I’ve learned about you and admire about you is you see the good in everything. No matter what it is, you’re going to find that silver lining. You have this sense of positivity and joy for life that seems innate to you. Some people would let that fear overtake them, but you’re like, “I’m nervous, but I’m going to do it anyways.” Have you always been like that?
I guess maybe not always. I’m definitely a different person now than I used to be in high school. Maybe a little bit of me has always been like that, but I mean, mentality is entirely what it is. Why I think a lot of people don’t take the risks and chances that they’re capable of doing is all because of their head – all mental. I see so many people that reach out to me. They’re like, “I wanna go skydiving, like let’s go skydiving.” I’m like, “Great, let’s go. Let’s do it.” And always without fail, usually 95% of the time, they’ll text me like two hours before we’re supposed to go and they’re like, “I actually don’t think I can make it,” or, “You know, I just am not ready for it.” And understandable, but at the same time, I see a lot of tandems as well who are on the ground before they go just psyching themselves out, so paranoid, and then they do it, and they’re like, “It is entirely not what I thought it was.” And it’s okay to be scared. I’m not fearless when I do things, but I think it’s really important. There’s two quotes I like: “If you can’t beat fear, do it scared,” and “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” I live by those quotes. So even if you’re scared, you just have to find that extra bit of courage and just do it. And you’ll be really happy you did.
Because the fear will be there no matter what. You’ll always find something to be afraid of.
Yes, always. There’s a little bit of fear in everything I do, but inside, I feel like I hold onto that and that’s kind of what pushes me to do it. Because if I wasn’t scared, I’d be like, “Oh yeah, you know, let’s do it.” almost with no feeling, but feeling the fear and then doing it, you just have a whole new sense of appreciation for yourself after you do those things. Because you should be proud of yourself when you do anything related to fear.
Skydiving has taught you so many lessons that trickle into other aspects of your life, because it’s a big part of your life, but it’s not your whole life. You’re adventurous in other ways. You’re outside, you’re hiking, you’re riding quads, you’re doing all of these things. You mentioned high school was a little different, but did you grow up with a sense of adventure?
I’ve definitely always had a sense of adventure. My whole life growing up has been related to things like that. I used to quad ride alot when I was little. I was always the one that was willing to do really crazy things. But I was also a gymnast growing up too, so I was really into jumping off of things or climbing. I think that's always been a part of me, and it’s just now manifesting even more the more I am introduced to new things that feed into that.
I think gymnastics kind of puts you more in tune with your body and lets you know what your limits are than other sports because, like you said, it’s just you and your mind. It’s not you and a ball and somebody chasing you.
Growing up with gymnastics, it’s a very individualized sport. It’s not like I have to rely on teammates to “win”, or anything like that. It really made me in tune with, “Okay, what’s my mental limit? What can I handle? What am I capable of?” It definitely helped me transition into skydiving, for sure.
Are you in general – it’s interesting talking to you because I get such a sense of independence from you. I personally credit my independence to the fact that I’m an only child.
Yes! I’m an only child, too.
See, I think that’s kind of it. I know some people who don’t like to run errands without someone else, or won’t travel alone. Would you say that independence also gives you the push? Because as kids, we weren’t able to say, “Well, if my sister isn’t going to the store then I’m not going to the store.” We’d just do it anyways.
I totally understand what you mean by that, being an only child. Growing up, I did a lot by myself. I mean, I had my parents of course, but I actually really enjoyed that independence. I like having that little bit of me time with things. One time, I got off work and some friends were up in Utah, and they were like, “Hey, you should come meet up with us and maybe skydive” And it was something I was definitely wanting to do, I love those spontaneous decisions. So some hours after that conversation I literally drove to Utah by myself on the spur of the moment. And I enjoyed the drive, like every second of it. It’s like, ‘I’m handling this, I have no idea where I am going but I’m doing it myself. I got this.’
I think you also just in general savor the moment, and put in the effort to do so. We all have responsibilities, so I’m not trying to discount it, but I think people kind of get stuck in the 9-to-5 rut. Like, “I only have Saturday and Sunday off, but not really Sunday, because I have to prepare for Monday.” And you’ve really kind of escaped it and see so much bigger than that.
Honestly, the 9-to-5, do the same thing every week, is terrifying to me. I do not want that at all. I love my job and I do my job so I can do the fun things like skydiving and whatnot, but it's not what I am looking for forever. This was just in a conversation I had with some friends. I’m like, “Oh, where do you see yourself in ten years?” And they’re like, “Oh, well, I’ll probably still be here in Arizona. I don’t see myself ever leaving. I don’t ever see myself doing this or that,” and I’m just like, “What? You don’t see yourself doing anything other than what you’re doing right now?” Which works for some people, but definitely not for me. I don’t plan on staying in Arizona forever. I plan on traveling and doing things. There are some people that are content and happy with that, and if that works for them, then great, but I try to make the most out of my week. I’m off Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and I usually try to do as much as I can within those three days because that’s when I have time to do it. I’m big on making sure that I put effort to plan ahead, too, even though I hardly ever plan. I’ll be like, “Next month, I’m gonna schedule this trip” or “Next month, I’m gonna plan for this trip.” I try to line it up to where I’m capable of doing those things without, you know, ending up not doing them.
Now that you’ve mentioned it, where do you see yourself in ten years?
I have a lot of things that I want to do with my life. I don’t know if you see those people that travel the world in a renovated bus, van or ambulance, something like that. But I would love to try the lifestyle, and I have quite a few friends that do it. To travel the world, check out different drop zones and skydive would be amazing to experience at some point in my life. One of my goals is to skydive in every state and then skydive in other countries, too. Hopefully in my ten-year timeframe, I’m doing something like that.
Wait, have you seen that you can skydive Everest?
I would love to do that. I want to skydive everywhere, anywhere I can. I’m surprised I haven’t heard of that because I feel like most people mention skydiving in Dubai. But I have to look into that now, because that sounds more interesting and a good time to me.
It’s interesting to think about people pushing their limits. For a while, people couldn’t climb Everest and now they do it twice, three times, all these things. How do you reconcile knowing your limits and not pushing yourself too far, with also taking risks and pursuing goals you set for yourself?
I am always striving for that but there’s definitely been days where I’m just not feeling it, you know? I’m just not really there, so I won’t push myself on those days. I’ve tried before and it just doesn’t really work out well. With skydiving, you have to be in a good mental state to do any of that. There've been times where I get there and I put on my rig and there’s just a lot happening, a lot of fun jumpers like, “Oh, yeah, let’s do this, this, this, this, and that,” and I’m just like, “I think I am going to sit this one out guys. I’m not there. I don’t want to push it.” So I just took it off and sat and watched. Sometimes it happens. You have to know when you need to just take a moment to recollect. The sky is always going to be there; it’s not going anywhere. I think it’s important to really have that awareness of your mental health when you’re doing things, too, because if you keep pushing and pushing and pushing, that’s when you can be really reckless and it gets dangerous if you try to do that. So, I can feel it. I’m pretty good at telling where I’m at with things and knowing how I’m feeling and deciding what to do from there.
What helps you either get back into or stay in that good mental space?
I mean, skydiving helps a lot. If I feel like I need a refresher, where I’m just like, “I need to get out of this funk or whatever,” I usually go somewhere. In Arizona, we have a lot of areas to go to. There’s Flagstaff two and a half hours away; I don’t know if you know anything about Flagstaff but it’s like, you go from desert and then you’ll go straight into trees and forest and things like that. And then there’s Sedona, which is like beautiful red rock. Somedays, I’m just like, “You know what, I just need to go somewhere.” I’ll go and it’s recharging for me. Then I’ll be really happy and good and I’ll come back. But, skydiving usually does the trick for fixing that too.
Hearing you say that, it’s almost foolish to think we can say we’re bored when you think about all of the beauty and opportunities that surround us, yeah? I’m twenty-seven, so I think about how people now grow up on social media, instead of spending time outside and finding ways to entertain themselves. Looking at all of those pretty pictures doesn’t replace actually going there, or doing it. Watching a video isn’t the same.
Yeah, even when I see those things, I mentally write down where it is so I can go there. I’m twenty-five, so I’m not too far off from you, but when I was growing up, we didn't really have phones yet, I was outside all the time, doing things all the time, and now, a lot of people don’t really do that anymore. I’m surprised when I see a lot of people outside. I’m like, “Oh, you’re playing basketball, that’s crazy,” because no one ever really does those types of things anymore.
It’s ironic. I’ll be on the east coast, and when it’s a good day, everybody goes out. Every day around here is generally pretty nice, and yet, people are nowhere to be found. Do you think after the pandemic more people will take advantage of going outside and doing things, or do you think people will return to their habits?
Part of me thinks that I actually don’t know if they’ll ever return. I feel like there are people that are just so fearful that they’re not going to go back to normal. Because even if everyone’s all-clear, you know, “You’re safe, you can go do this,” I still think there’s gonna be a lot of people that hold back still and are still afraid to do anything like that. I hope more people would be outside doing fun things, but I feel like it really depends on the different types of people. Some people, I feel are content with just how things are now, and then some people like me are going crazy. We want to do all kinds of things. Meanwhile other people will probably appreciate and take all of this as a lesson and move forward and do the things that they wanted to pre-pandemic but didn’t get to do. There’s so many different types of people. Hopefully it’s for the best, that people learn to appreciate things a little bit differently now that it’s kind of been taken away – even being with family, things like that.
Oh yeah. Speaking of fears, I know you’re not into black water, but is there anything you won’t do, or are you always going to want to push a little bit?
I definitely am afraid of a lot of things. I don’t know why, but black water terrifies me. Absolutely terrifying. Sharks also scare the crap out of me. I’m just afraid of that theme of things, but I do plan on learning how to scuba dive and get my scuba certification. I know that’s going to be absolutely terrifying for me, but I want to. If someone was like, “Hey, you want to cage dive with great white sharks?” I would be absolutely terrified – like I might pass out before I even get there – but I’d try it. I haven’t really encountered anything I would never try yet, but I’m still afraid of all those things. But I feel like that’s all the more reason why I want to and should do it.
Are there any passions of yours that you still haven’t explored, or things that you’re working towards?
Besides from a giant bucket list, I actually decided to start my own business; I’m in the process of it. It’s called Avid Skies and I decided to try it out summer of last year (2020).Basically, my whole goal with it was to start out with skydive apparel which I still plan on doing, but then I branched into thinking about how everyone usually has their own individual passion for something, “For The Avid Individual”. Everyone has their own thing that they’re excited about or happy about, and I’m kind of doing something with that. I’m still working on it, but it’s created and it’s part of me wanting to reach out to people like that who have something that they’re super passionate about, no matter what it is. I feel like I don’t always reach that on social media. Like, I wish that I could reach more of a connection with different people, so I’m trying to do that with this.
On top of being adventurous and skydiving, you’re also an NHL Arizona Coyotes cheerleader and ER veterinary technician - both of which can be high stress, really involved commitments. Did you always see yourself doing these things?
When I started as a veterinary technician, I worked in a general practice and it’s a lot of vaccines, spays, neuters, the occasional sick pet - very routine things. And that was great for me to get all that experience, because they taught me everything I know, but then I was just not really finding any excitement or joy in what I was doing anymore. Then I got the opportunity to work in an emergency clinic. I had never even considered emergency med; I just didn’t really think about it. But now that I’m in it, I am really enjoying the change of pace and new knowledge and experience. I think due to emergency med being high stress with a lot going on at certain moments. Of course, not that the animals I see are in poor condition, but I enjoy having to do that critical thinking and apply it immediately.
That’s super high stress. You’ve mentioned going on trips, but day to day, how do you balance everything? Because I’m sure the commitment to cheer is big, too.
It was. It kind of stopped in March when the pandemic hit because obviously if there’s no fans, I don’t really have anything to do. But I did it for the hockey team, [which is] starting back up, but I don’t really know what’s gonna happen. I think the way that I handle it is just being aware of when I need a break. I don’t ever want to hit the point to where I’m like, “I am fried. I need a break, like, this is crazy.” I don’t really ever want to hit that point, so usually, I’m like, “Okay, things are getting kind of busy, I need to take a second.” Like, I’ll be doing the same thing week after week and then I’ll be like, “You know what, this weekend, I’m not gonna do anything. I’m gonna be at home and do some things around here and kind of regroup and then continue with what I was doing before.” I listen to music a lot. I rely on friends and family a lot. I try to do the little tiny things outside that make me happy. I used to like to paint a lot, so maybe I’ll try painting. Or I used to like to read a lot, so I’ll read a book. I’ll kind of go back down to the things that are comforting and more simple.
No two days are alike, but what does a day in your life look like?
It depends if we’re talking the beginning of the week or the end of the week because they’re entirely different. In the beginning of the week, I wake up and I go to work, and that is usually 10-11ish hours so it takes up a really big portion of my day. Usually on those days, I work, I come home. At the end of the week, usually Fridays I’ll either go skydiving and Saturdays I reserve to try to go somewhere. I usually don’t even know what I’m doing. I’m just like, “Do I want to do this today? Okay, sure.” Or I’m like, “Do I want to do that tomorrow? Okay, sure.” It’s kind of really on the fly.
Your job dictates your hours, but are you more of a night owl or an early bird?
I've struggled a bit with insomnia, so I am naturally more of a night owl. I’m not an early bird unless I have to be. I really prefer to do a lot of things at night or when the sun is down though, which I guess makes me more of a night owl.
They say that more creative people are night owls, but I don’t think it’s creativity so much as it is adventure, you know? Thinking back to the people who are rooted in their 9-to-5 routines, I think they’re more early birds, whereas I think the people on the cusp are more night owls in a way. No matter what you do, though, you’ve always followed your heart and pursued what matters to you. What gives you confidence?
It’s funny you say that because I didn’t used to be like that, especially in high school. I was like a little shell that was afraid of what anybody thought of me. And then after high school, I just realized, like, “This is my life. What anyone thinks or says really doesn’t matter.” I think the confidence that I have comes from when I’m really aware of the choices that I’m making, like the decision to skydive or the decision to do the things I do. I used to be bullied a lot growing up, like a lot. One day I just decided, “I’m done with it. I don’t care anymore. I am gonna do what makes me happy, and that’s all I’m gonna focus on.” Find that thing within yourself to just be like, “You know what, I’m ME, and that’s amazing. I’m so happy being different and not like everybody else. I’m my own person.” I think that’s the self-acceptance that everybody’s trying to find, at least some point in their life.
I think that’s what we all want - we just want to be happy with ourselves and with what we do.
So, I think you just need to find the things that make you feel like you. That’s definitely something I am 100% for. I don’t care how weird it is, if I want to do it and I like it, then I’m gonna do it. And I have a lot of things like that. I am obsessed with How to Train Your Dragon, the movie. I love it. Toothless is my favorite thing ever. And for the people that are like, “Oh, well, isn’t it a kids’ movie?” I’ll be like, “Sure is! Yeah, it is a kids’ movie and I love it.” There’s just so much stigma with things. I don’t know how to explain it. You think of chess, and people used to be like, “People that play chess are weird.” I’m like, “I bought a chess board because I want to learn how to play chess.” It’s really that simple. I’ve realized that if you have the confidence and you have the passion, people don’t really judge it as much. You shouldn’t back down from the things you are passionate about just because someone sees it differently than you.The way that I feel confident about myself is I’ve learned to love the things that make me me, including the things that I used to not love or the things that I used to be like, “Ugh, man, why can’t I be like that person?” I don’t do that anymore. I’m like, “I like this. I’m going to be proud of it.” And I think the more that you tell yourself that and the more that you believe it yourself, it becomes more real for you.
Absolutely. What would you say to someone who looks at your Instagram feed and thinks it looks really cool, but they’re limiting themselves with thoughts of “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t” or “I wish?”
I feel like I used to sometimes do that, too, but I think that when people are like, “Oh, I can’t do that,” they really need to ask themselves why they can’t do that. Like, what makes you think you’re not capable of doing that? What makes you think that you can’t do it? Most of the time, it’s just people with lack of confidence in themselves, and something else I’ve realized is that we don't understand how much we are actually capable of purely because of self-doubt.
We’re a lot more capable of doing more things than we realize if we just have the courage to actually take that first step in trying to do it. Because a lot of people won’t even try, but I think that’s important - at least try.
If you fail, you fail, and that’s not a bad thing. But people need to at least give it a try if it’s something that they really want to do. Otherwise, you know, you’re always going to sit there and be like, “What if?” You should just try.
That being said, what is one thing everyone should know how to do?
I think that everyone should know how to be comfortable with their own company. Set aside time for yourself when you feel you need it, and understand a little bit more about who you are as a person. Take the time to reflect on that.
You kind of touched on it in the quotes you live by, but from your perspective, what does it mean to be fearless?
I think being fearless is 100% being aware that you are afraid and feeling that fear, but then choosing to make that first step to do it anyway. Like I mentioned, the quotes truly ring true because you can still be afraid but if you try to overcome it or even acknowledge that you have that fear, to me I think that’s still being fearless because you’re like, “Yeah, I’m afraid, but I’m doing it anyway.” And that doesn’t mean you have to do it completely fearless. You can be extremely afraid and as long as you try, I think that’s fearless.
seven questions with victoria martin:
I can’t go a day without… listening to music.
Everyone should listen to… Corners of the Earth (feat RY X) by Odesza. It just makes me really happy. I feel like it’s kind of the background music to if you sit there and envision all of the goals you have for yourself. I think it’s great and really empowering, it makes me feel like I can accomplish anything.
Life is better with a little… (or alot) of fun.
Everyone in their 20’s should… take a trip by themselves. Experience what it’s like to do any sort of trip or something by yourself. Feel that confidence.
One thing to do in Arizona… go to Sedona or the Grand Canyon. That sounds touristy, but the Grand Canyon is actually pretty cool. There’s a reason why there’s so much hype about it. It’s really amazing. Also come jump out of a plane at Skydive Phoenix ;)
What the world needs right now is… compassion, honestly. The world always needs compassion. I just think we need to appreciate each other a little bit more than we do because the world’s kind of a mess right now. We need compassion and to realize that we’re all trying our best out here.
One way to spread love is… by sharing things that mean a lot to you with other people. If you’re happy about something, share it with that person. Like, “Hey, I love this and I want you to experience it because it brings me joy.”
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