By the Moon founder Emily Miller on living slowly and the power of setting intentions
meet emily,
founder and creator of By the Moon, stationery decor that helps you set intentions and stay inspired.
with all that has gone on this year, there’s never been a better time to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life.
after falling in love with everything By the Moon does, i sat down to talk with Emily about how she came to start the business, her transition from working in fashion in New York to a simpler lifestyle in Texas, and how she balances being a dreamer with doing the work.
i hope that this conversation with Emily inspires you to take a few minutes to step out of auto-pilot, connect with yourself on a deeper level, and think about what inspires you and what you desire in life.
because if you take a second to look, inspiration is truly around every corner.
Hi, Emily! I found your company, By the Moon, through Instagram and fell in love. It’s crazy to me that it’s considered “old school” now, but I absolutely love stationery and tangible prints. There’s a sense of sentimentality with paper goods that just doesn’t translate as well digitally, in my opinion. And I love the story behind your brand: you were originally working in the fashion industry, where the pace is extremely fast. Growing up, is that where you always saw yourself?
Thank you so much :) I’ve always loved doing anything creative – art, baking, dancing, etc.… Initially, I thought I wanted to study fashion, but I was scared of how competitive it seemed in New York. Plus, I never really felt talented enough with art... So I ended up studying marketing with a minor in graphic design. Once I graduated, my first job was with a small textile company (which was actually how I met my husband!), and from there I jumped into merchandising for a small footwear company. As I gained more experience, I found I loved the product development process and stayed in fashion for about 6 years.
Living in New York, working in the fashion industry… many people would say that that’s their dream. But when you live it, of course, you see things a little bit differently. How did that career, or lifestyle, affect you?
I loved it initially, and the experience I gained is so important in where I am now with launching my own line of products. But there weren’t just 4 fashion seasons in a year anymore; there were countless mini seasons in between. Which was fun and kept things fresh, but also sort of felt like a rat race… and it can be hard to keep up. It’s the kind of thing where you buy something and then a few weeks later you feel like you need the next best thing. I’ll always love fashion - and I’ll always love NYC - but the pace of both definitely pushed me to want to slow down a bit, get back to the basics, and enjoy the simpler things.
That’s interesting. When it comes to feeling the need to keep up with others, how do you find balance and prioritize what you actually want, versus the expectations of others? It almost seems easier to try to please others than to follow your own heart, especially when it means making a big life choice. Where did you get the strength to do that?
I think the strength to jump into something new came from having the time to step back and really think about it all. When I moved to Texas, I kind of struggled with being far from family and friends. But through the struggle, it forced me to spend more time with myself and think about what I really wanted to do with my career. I also talked to a life coach for some time and she gave me a lot of insight that helped me think more intentionally. At the same time, I was reading a lot of great books that helped me get in the right mindset to really go for this.
Are there any misconceptions people may not realize, especially as they glamorize certain industries? Was there a moment when you realized this was not for you anymore? How did you recognize that, and come to the decision to leave, and start a new path?
I think there’s a little bit of misconception around creative freedom in fashion. At some of the larger brands, I’m sure there’s more freedom and defining your own look and product line… But in my experience, designing and merchandising was more about catching trends before they go away… And the window of opportunity was very small before there was some other trend you needed to be chasing. Again, it kept things interesting and fresh, but over time it did feel a bit like a rat-race of in-and-out trends. Recently, I’ve been seeing more fashion brands going the sustainable and minimalistic route… Getting back to quality and core items. I really like to see that! I’m not a hard-core minimalist or anything like that - I still like to shop and buy things - I just don’t like feeling like I ‘need’ to buy something in order to keep up with what everyone else is doing.
And how did you end up leaving New York for Texas?
I actually ended up in Texas for love :) I had been doing the long-distance thing with my husband. He was living and working in Texas, while I was up in New York. And after we got engaged, I started looking for jobs around Dallas, and ended up finding a role in footwear at a pop culture fashion company, so I made the move. After about a year into that job, I started feeling the disconnect in fashion. I was kind of at this stage in my life where I wanted to simplify.
These days, there’s a constant stream of influence coming from our phones, TVs, and people around us. I tend to get a little overwhelmed with that sometimes, and letting all that control how we feel is giving our power away.
I started reading books about essentialism and intentional living. Learning about those concepts opened up my mind and gave me a new perspective… Of course, there’s so much that is not in our control, and it’s easy to feel stuck in that - but learning about intentional living made me feel empowered. That’s what kind of sparked my interest in self-development, which put me on the path to starting my own brand. At that point, I wasn’t really sure what the product would be - at first, I thought I wanted to have a gift box company - but after a bit of research, I felt that category was a little bit over-saturated. So I took a bit of time to brainstorm before I landed on the idea of developing my own product.
Do you have any book recommendations on the topic of intentional living?
Yes! There’s a book called ‘Essentialism’ by Greg McKeown that has a lot of great insight around eliminating the non-essentials in life and focusing on what matters. I also love all of Brene Brown’s books - especially ‘Daring Greatly.’
Also, for those who may not know, can you tell me the meaning behind your brand’s name?
Yes! I’ve always loved the moon.
There’s something about looking up at the moon after a stressful day that takes me out of any negativity and reminds of the bigger picture.
I decided that I wanted to create products that captured that feeling and helped inspire others to feel uplifted. So having the moon be part of the brand name and icons felt right! The name also comes from an old quote that says ‘Live by the Sun, Love by the Moon,’ which – to me – means to live to a plan (live by the sun) – but don’t forget to dream (by the moon).
I love how By the Moon balances dreams and planning. I’m someone who is very Type-A, and likes to plan things out. What about you? How do you find that balance between “dreamer” and “doer” in your life?
I’m the same way! I love to have a plan and usually get anxious when there isn’t one! I think planning and being intentional with your time is very important, but I tend to get too stuck on the plan going exactly to plan... Which makes it easy to forget the importance of trusting the journey and going with the flow… So all the little quotes and reminders I have collected over the years really helped me to trust the journey a bit more. I definitely am no expert at ‘trusting the journey’ but in hindsight, I’ve found that the things I’ve stressed and worried over have somehow worked themselves out, so I try to keep that in mind as much as I can when I get bogged down about something not working out the way I’d hoped. It’s really tough to balance, and I think it’s a skill I think I’ll always need to work at.
Obviously, this year has shown we can only control so much. Similarly to how you left the fashion industry for a slower pace we’re all living a much simpler - yet also complicated; I don’t want to discount or minimize any of the struggles or hardships brought on, either - lifestyle, staying at home, and such. By the Moon is all about gratitude and hope. What has helped you throughout this season in life?
Definitely! I think the current state of the world has shown how interconnected we all are, and how important the simple things are, like seeing family and friends. Throughout this season, it can be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel… Not being able to see loved ones has been hard for me… And all of our ‘normal’ ways of finding inspiration are in some sense changed. Plus, with a constant stream of information from our phones and the news, I think it is important to disconnect from that from time to time. It can be heavy and negative, and without some quiet time, our minds tend to cling to the negativity. I think it’s important to take some time away from our screens. For me, that’s been biking, walking, baking, playing a board game, or reading a fiction book. Getting outside in nature is something that helps me kind of come back to myself. I find a lot of peace being in nature. We all have things we love doing that kind of takes out of the present moment – we forget to check our phones and we lose track of time. I think it’s important to find those things. Little hobbies that you do just because you love to… It’s important to set time to do those things, and be intentional about it - especially because our all the apps on our phones are designed to be addicting, so pulling ourselves away from them can be hard…
Is there a particular lesson you’ve learned, or a quote/ phrase that has stuck with you during this time?
There’s a piece of a quote by Jackson Kiddard that I’ve been loving recently. It says “And in the end you’ll see these setbacks as giant leaps forward… Only you couldn’t see the bigger picture in the moment.” I really resonate with this right now – trying to start a business comes with constant stream of challenges, so holding onto this has brought me some hope and helped me hang onto the determination I need when things aren’t going to plan. It may help others who are struggling to stay positive remember that they are still growing and evolving in ways they may not be able to see in this moment.
I love that. And your brand aesthetic is not just thoughtful, it’s absolutely beautiful. What inspired the branding?
Thank you so so much! I wanted the brand to be whimsical and dreamy, as a nod to that uplifting feeling of looking up at the moon. The fonts and icons have a hand-drawn and simplistic look, as the brand is kind of going back to the basics in terms of writing intentions. I wanted the visuals to speak to the analogue method of actually taking pen to paper, versus using our phone. There’s something about writing things down by hand where I feel like we’re more connected with our mind. I think there’s science behind that whole concept… When you write things down by hand, your brain engages with the information in a more comprehensive way.
Another major component of your brand is fostering a community, not just selling products. What led you to incorporate that into your business, and why was it important to you?
I’ve realized more and more the importance of community, and the power in connecting with someone else’s story. I think community is the positive side of the digital world… It helps us connect with people whose stories encourage and uplift us, which I believe does so much for anyone struggling to find hope or courage.
From creating the products to cultivating the community, and running social media and everything in between, there’s a lot on your plate. What does a day in your life look like?
Yes, I definitely have to wear lots of hats most days! Lately, my days have kind of been all over the place! Ever since my inventory came in, it’s been a mix of shipping orders, troubleshooting website issues, marketing and optimizing my social media, keeping track of the bookkeeping… Lots of different things! Ah, the joys of small business. It’s a lot of work but developing something of my own has been really exciting. I hope one day to outsource the stuff I’m not so great at (aka finance and fulfillment) but in the meantime, I feel like doing it all myself has given me a well-rounded understanding on all the facets that go into a product-based business.
It’s a lot at once! And for me personally, setting intentions and becoming thoughtful in that way throughout the day was a big learning curve. Was this something that always came easy to you, or something you were accustomed to growing up? How did intentions, and this level of thoughtfulness become integrated into your life?
It’s pretty new to me as well… I only started learning about it a few years ago after I had moved to Texas when I was feeling a little bit disconnected with my career. It started with various personal development books and podcasts that I’d listen to on my commute to work. I loved the concepts I learned around intentional living, essentialism, and emotional intelligence.
From my experience, writing things down and setting intentions helps me see things clearly and connect deeper with my true self.
With all of the quotes I had collected, I thought creating a way to actually apply ourselves to them and set intentions would make it super easy for someone new to it (like me) to start. I’d consider it to be like a guided journal practice, but with the added benefit of keeping the inspiration front of mind by having it on display. The concept of setting intentions helped me take this leap of faith and start something new, which was really scary – especially since I didn’t have much experience around the product category.
Where do you see the brand expanding over the next few months or years?
If all goes well with my first product, I plan to start developing another product idea I have in the works – but I’m trying to keep all-hands-on-deck with my first product for now. Since it’s a new concept and I’m still in the early stages of getting my name out there, I’m trying to stay focused on developing my customer-base and educating my following on how the product works. But I’d love to expand one day!
That makes sense. Like we talked about earlier, you transitioned from the fashion industry to starting your own venture, and there is a lot of life in between all of that, too. That said, what is one thing everyone should know how to do?
I think taking time to reflect and be intentional about life is really important. It can be simple, just asking yourself some questions and writing down the answers. For me, I was a little overwhelmed with the trend-chasing cycles of fashion – but I did know that the process of creating and developing products excited me. I asked myself questions like ‘what was I not loving in my career? What felt fulfilling? What experience do I have that I can apply to something new if I wanted to?’ Getting clear on the answers seems like a simple process but I think many of us tend to forget to take the time. It’s a small practice that can make a big impact.
Truly, I agree with you. And when it comes to getting intentional and putting yourself first, so to speak, something I have struggled with is burn out, especially in regards to that rat race you mentioned. Do you have any tips for coping with burnout, re-centering and finding (or maintaining) that balance?
It’s tough! I struggle with it a lot. The best advice I can give is to listen to your body. If I’m feeling anxious or burnt out, the work that comes out of that mindset is not going to be of the quality I want it to be.
Those burn-out feelings are like our body’s check-engine light. We tend to ignore it sometimes - but really, the best thing we can do for our work and ourselves is to take breaks and gain new inspiration.
Again, I’m no expert and constantly having to remind myself of this, but having the awareness really helps!
To end, because By the Moon is also about dreaming big - what’s next for you, and what’s a dream you have?
Right now, I dream of growing and expanding By the Moon - helping more and more people dip their toe into mindfulness, and sharing reminders of courage, hope, gratitude, and determination that I resonate with myself!
seven questions with emily miller:
I can’t go a day without… coffee :)
Everyone should see… Brené Brown’s Netflix Special, ‘The Call to Courage’
Life is better with a little… laughter… and dogs!
Everyone in their 20s should… build your self-confidence from within. Be an advocate for yourself. Talk to yourself like you’re your own friend.
One insider thing to do in Dallas…Walk Katy Trail, stop at the Ice House… Or an afternoon in Bishop Arts District!
What the world needs right now is… Compassion, connection, open hearts and ears.
One way to spread love is… small acts of kindness, like a smile, a compliment, or making a connection through a joke.
All photos courtesy of Alyssa Cates of @alyssacatesstudio.